It felt great to get an e-mail from a respected friend-and-mentor asking me to "check my sources" for the validity of a passed along e-mail. The result? No, your house will not be eaten by termites from New Orleans this spring. You have been advised by the Hipster-Dufus Librarian.
Note to self: buy 4 bags of mulch to cover the severe hacking I gave the monkey grass this weekend.