Sunday, March 01, 2009

Spam

Like most of you, I don't read my spam, I just mark it as such and move on to reminders from legitimate businesses Snapfish and Talbots that they would like more of my money. But how could I mercilessly trash something with the subject line "Offers authentic-looking fake university_Dip1oma/Degrees....cheap price offer!" My tiny Mount Holyoke diploma looks completely inauthentic to most people: maybe I need to look into this?

Apparently, with just a little "personal motivation," I will find that "[t]o buy a degree is quite easy these days. Nevertheless most students just sit around in their usually boring local University classes, wasting money." And to think I went to usually fascinating college classes to get a degree.

The grammar and the logic deteriorate from there. On the one hand, Denita Xiao writes about verifying life experience to get the degree, as if the target audience has worked for a while, and just needs some degree. But then there's all this guidance counselor stuff, as if it matters what you "studied": "Having a University degree is very important these days, and as always in life you should only stick with something you want."

As for why we lucky folk getting this email never got a "diploma certificate" before, maybe we were too far from the degree we needed:
The actual reason why people buy a life experience degree is because they can not go to a institution in their surrounding area that offers the diploma program they are heading for: For example, if you live near a College which only offers renowned marketing degree, then this doesn't help you a bit if you're looking for a marketing degree.
I'm pretty certain the word "not" belongs in between "you're" and "looking." And so you see, it is for this grammatical slip-up -- and that reason, only, not because I disagree with the statement "Buying a degree is nothing harmful. It's a win-win situation for the Colleges involved as well as for you, getting the degree you dreamed of" -- that I will not be calling the 718 area code at the bottom of the email. Thank you for your attention to this blog.

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